Well Hello, Hello,
I don't know where to begin. My thoughts are all over the place. After writing for years at my new "Fashion" blog, and ignoring this gem of a journal, I happened to somehow log back on to blogspot and re-read all the old posts from my teenage years that are still magically preserved here. I am calling it a gem because it truly is - its like reading an old diary - it simultaneously makes me feel more mature and more stupid at the same time. Although I was very under exposed to the real world at the time, I was more confident and kinda sorted as a person - mostly because I believed in an ideal world from the books that I read. A world where everyone was nice and I was the main interesting character.
Clearly, as I hit thirty and the panic that comes with it, I have changed. I am no more the cute little girl that I once was. And I now have a popular fashion blog that I make money off. So why am I writing here again you ask? Well, because, this place almost acts like an "open secret" - like a diary thats online - a place that everyone and anyone can accidentally discover, but I am hoping that they wont, seeing how internet is so saturated with data these days. By writing again here, I am hoping to look back at this post a few years from now and see how I have changed again.
Let me introduce you to my 30 year old self -
I don't know where to begin. My thoughts are all over the place. After writing for years at my new "Fashion" blog, and ignoring this gem of a journal, I happened to somehow log back on to blogspot and re-read all the old posts from my teenage years that are still magically preserved here. I am calling it a gem because it truly is - its like reading an old diary - it simultaneously makes me feel more mature and more stupid at the same time. Although I was very under exposed to the real world at the time, I was more confident and kinda sorted as a person - mostly because I believed in an ideal world from the books that I read. A world where everyone was nice and I was the main interesting character.
Clearly, as I hit thirty and the panic that comes with it, I have changed. I am no more the cute little girl that I once was. And I now have a popular fashion blog that I make money off. So why am I writing here again you ask? Well, because, this place almost acts like an "open secret" - like a diary thats online - a place that everyone and anyone can accidentally discover, but I am hoping that they wont, seeing how internet is so saturated with data these days. By writing again here, I am hoping to look back at this post a few years from now and see how I have changed again.
Let me introduce you to my 30 year old self -
- The thing that has changed the most in me now is that I am no longer scared of being in the spotlight(almost). I am relatively popular because I took the chance and promoted myself as a fashion blogger and succeeded partially(still a long way to go, lots to achieve).
- I also juggle a full time job as a UX designer along with blogging. My boss in my current company is a BITCH and is making my life hell. In fact just today, I was humiliated in front of everybody for being an hour late in delivering something inconsequential. I am still fuming, I still fell like I am not good enough and I feel angry at everything and everyone. I am hoping to quit this job within a month.
- Having said that, I no longer want to work under someone in a 9-5. I know I hate taking orders and I know now is the right time(age?) to start something new thats going to secure my future financially and mentally. I am just scared to take the jump because it feels like I have been in a job forever and earning secure salary is good to support my expensive lifestyle but clearly bad for my mental health.
- I am still dating my boyfriend of 13 years. Yes, I met him when I was 17 and was hoping to be married by now but that hasn't happened yet since he's still figuring his way financially. He is also so confused between his patriarchal upbringing and my modern outtake on things. He still tries to control my choices but he has matured a lot over time and I am hoping to see more maturity in the future. We love spending time with each other because we are such kids at heart. I want to get married and travel the world with him(touchwood).
- I have a cute cat right now - his name is Hugo and I love him a lot! His presence reminds me that changes happen only by taking the impromptu leap of faith. Over-thinking never gets you anywhere.
- I do not read as many books as I used to anymore. Sadly.
- I workout regularly these days because I need to lose the extra KGs. After rereading my posts, I am convinced that skipping breakfast can actually help. What I used to unintentionally do back then is intermediate fasting - which today is accepted as a great way to lose weight. Need to start that again, though this time around its going to be intentional.
- I live separately for the weekdays.
- I have now travelled to several countries - Italy, Abu Dhabi, Thailand(twice), Singapore. I want to travel all over the world. Hoping to shift jobs and travel more. Travel is my new passion and I want to pursue it when it still remains a passion.
- I have coloured my hair several times now.
- I now watch Netflix and Youtube obsessively and hoping to start a Youtube channel of my own!
Thats all I could think of at the moment to say. I hope to come back here, reread this and reflect on life more!
LOVE YOU!
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